Friday, April 20, 2007

Spencer's Bad Day

As many of you know, Spencer has problems everyday at school. He gets beat up more often than not. Well, maybe not “beat up” but people pick on him, hit him, push him, call him names, tell him he is stupid, and so on and so forth. My only feeling is that yesterday, Spencer had had enough.

I went to pick the kids up from school like I most often do. And Shantal came out saying Spencer had a bad day again and would not come out from the school. So I gathered up all the rest of the kids and we went in looking for Spencer. As I started to walk through the gate of the school, his teacher was coming out looking for me.

Spencer said he refused to come home. But at the same time, his teacher told me that he said he would never be in school again. He took his pencil and crossed out his name on everything in the classroom. After trying to find out what was wrong, me simply hugging him and him running and throwing his head against the walls at the school, I finally got him to the car. It took a lot of strength as he was fighting me almost the whole way.

On the drive home, he kept telling me what kind of an idiot he was and how stupid he was. He told me that he has the worst life ever.

When we arrived home, he said he was not coming in. I told him we needed to go in and eat. He told me he was never eating again. That he was going to die. Once again, I got him inside the house where I said we are going to have lunch. He said, I am going to kill myself. I’ll just get a knife from the kitchen.

That is when I grabbed him, got him to the couch and sat with him for almost 2 hours.

His demeanor was something I had never seen before as he was going through this. He finally got to the point he was normal again. The same Spencer I know. But that took 2 hours for me to stay right there with him and talking to him. So hard when I have 4 other kids demanding my attention and time. Basically, Someone was with Spencer at all times yesterday.

At one point, he said that he would be in Satan's power and the rest of us would be with God.

It breaks my heart so much to watch and see how sad he is. He is only 8 years old. How in the world does an 8 year old come up with this and how am I supposed to handle it? I take it totally serious. Every time I don’t think I have enough tears left, more come. How is a mother supposed to handle knowing her child prefers to die. And how do I know how serious he is about actually caring out a plan he has made? He is 8 for crying out loud!

Gardner gave Spencer a blessing last night. Spencer did not get to bed until 11pm. And then he was one of the first ones up at 6:45 saying he did not want to go to school. Gardner and I had already decided to keep him home today. If nothing else, because he was up so late. I went in and talked to his teacher this morning and she agreed it was good he stay home. But we are also thinking he needs to get in and see a Psychologist.

I would consider home schooling Spencer, as I know Spencer could still learn from here at home. Shantal or Hannah would not be such good candidates for that at this point. But, it is not allowed here in Germany. Spencer has asked to change schools, but that is also not an option. There are no other Elementary Schools in the area. We live in such a small village.

Gardner did call a couple parents last night who Spencer has had problems with. The one parent was happy that Gardner called and their son called last night to apologize. The other parent was annoyed that Gardner called and did not know what she could do to help. And her son is one of the biggest problems. Not just with Spencer but with the whole class. She said maybe if Spencer was afraid to go to school because of her son, then she might be able to do something. DUH! That angered me.

Anyway, I know you are all waiting to hear what happened and how he is doing. I’ll keep you posted on his progress.


.jess. said...

(((((HUGS)))) Tamara. I cant imagine what you went through yesterday. I am here if you ever need to talk!!!!!! (((HUGS)))

mitchellscrazymom said...

I'm here for you Tamara!!

monica said...

(((HUGS))) to you and Spencer! I can only imagine how hard that is to watch and feel so helpless. I think that some counseling might be really good for him. If anything, it certainly can't hurt. You have lots of support from your fellow freaks if you need it! :)

Coleen said...

*hugs* give my Spencer extra hugs for me. I was SO sad when you told me about this. I feel so far away (I'm sure you feel the same way being right there, though).

I hope you don't mind...I was talking to my friend Mitsy, and she asked if she could put you and Spencer on the prayer roll at the temple. I was talking to her right after you told me...and she could tell I was shaken up. I told her of course it was ok.

I'm REALLY annoyed at the parent who doesn't think that they can control their kid, though.

March 2007