The gory details

Here are some of the gory details of Tamara's trip to the hospital. O.K., they aren't that gory, but nonetheless they are the details.

On late Sunday afternoon I headed off with the children to general conference (this was the Sunday morning session Salt Lake time, but started at 6:00 p.m. Düsseldorf time via satellite). I had to leave a little bit early to pick up a friend. Naturally as soon as I'm gone, the pain starts for Tamara. Not sure how that happens, but it seems to happen without fail.

She said she had discomfort in the middle of her stomach, with loose stools. The pain got progressively worse and moved to lower right side of her abdomen. Around this same time I arrived home from the general conference session. Tamara was not doing well. It continued as we got the kids into bed (she was still semi-functional and we tagged teamed the kids into bed. After the kids were down the pain really kicked in (9:30-10:30 p.m. time frame). At one point she was writhing in pain about every two minutes (sharp shooting pains she said).

We thought for sure it was appendix related and were naturally quite concerned, especially after recently reading An American in Germany's appendicitis blog entry. I think living overseas, away from family and not right around the corner from friends who would just pop over at 10:30 p.m. at night, or at least who you don't feel comfortable calling at 10:30 p.m. at night, makes everything a little bit more worrisome. I know I was very nervous.

We decided to call our good friends from our congregation. The kids love this young married couple and get excited when they come over. The bonus is that the husband is also finishing up his studies as a doctor and is the president of our elders quorum in the congregation. They were willing to come over and stay at the house while I took Tamara to the hospital. He also assisted in giving Tamara a priesthood blessing. That always brings a measure of comfort that you need in such moments.

By the time we got to the hospital, Tamara's pain had subsided. I don't know how that happens either, but it seems to happen without fail.

Despite the strongest symptoms having subsided, the doctor wanted to check Tamara into the hospital for observation based on the nature of the symptoms Tamara had experienced earlier that evening. He said they were classic appendicitis symptoms and that is why he wanted to keep her in the hospital. I got home, relieved our friends, and got into bed by around 1:00 a.m.

Tamara gets some well deserved time away

Well, I am on my own for a few days. Just me and the kids. Tamara has decided to get away from it all.

It would be nice if we had planned a little get away for Tamara, and she were sitting on an island in the Mediterranean, but in reality, Tamara is suffering from a bladder infection, which we and the doctor originally thought was appendicitis. The bladder infection was definitely very painful and so it is good not to have to worry about the kids for a day or two. But Tamara is so ready to come home. She said, don't they just send you home with cranberry juice and some pain relievers in the U.S.? The medical or health care system here in Germany is a bit more cautious and wanted to observe Tamara for a few days.

We went to the hospital emergency room on Sunday night and because the signs pointed to appendicitis the doctor wanted to check her in right away. The other option was to have her come back at 9 a.m. the next morning. This was after midnight on Sunday, so we decided to have her admitted.

Tamara is doing well, and I'll write some more details in a bit. With doctor's appointments for 3 kids today, two trips to the hospital to visit Tamara, homework, some work, work for me, trying to find babysitters so that I could go into work for a half day tomorrow, and caring for 5 children I haven't got all of my details written down yet.

Day 1 Without Grandma and Grandpa

Well Grandma and Grandpa are no longer here visiting with us. They left yesterday to fly back to America. It was sure nice to have them here. The kids really enjoyed them being here. Spencer enjoyed running with Grandpa every morning. Spencer was also really glad that Grandpa was here when he had an important dentist appointment and actually pulled out two of Spencer's teeth! (Grandpa Wheeler is a dentist!) And Emma enjoyed calling, "Grandpa Wheeler, Grandpa Wheeler" every 30 seconds or so. Emma also enjoyed playing board games with Grandma Wheeler. Emma was up stairs sleeping when Grandma and Grandpa left for the airport. And when she woke up from her nap, the first thing she asked , "where is Grandma Wheeler?".

Emma woke up sick yesterday morning. I thought it was croup. Croup is characterized by a loud cough that resembles the barking of a seal, difficulty breathing, and a grunting noise or wheezing during breathing. She didn't really have the cough but the breathing part was grunting and wheezing. My kids have had croup more times than I can count, and decided this is what she had.

Emma also had a fever. She was so hot, I was getting hot by her just sitting on me. She was not eating or drinking. She became someone that just laid on me. She was extremely lethargic (deficient in alertness or activity). And I started to worry. I thought, if her breathing is this bad already during the day, what will it be like tonight. As Croup is usually worse during the night. So at 4pm, I had Gardner call the doctors office. With it being a Friday, I knew everything would be closed for the weekend and then I would be doing a Hospital Visit if I got too concerned. So, off to the doctors I went with Emma.

Come to find out, Emma has Croup and Bronchitis (an inflammation of the air passages within your lungs). The doctor prescribed an inhaler for Emma with this chamber device for little kids. It is fantastic. Here is a picture of it.



She gets two pumps of the inhaler. It stays in the chamber between the inhaler and the breathing mask until she breathes it. And let me tell ya, that is not easy. She fights me and I have to hold her down. I feel so bad. But she needs it. I can't tell if it is helping at all right now. She goes back into the doctors on Monday.

Last night around 12 midnight, she woke up and she threw up. The poor girl. We gave her some Mineral Water (bubbly water that is most common to drink here in Germany). She loves the stuff and she just kept burping. I was so afraid of her throwing up again. I got out a bowl just incase she had to throw up again and everytime she burped we would put that bowl under her chin and she would push it away and say, "not yet, not yet!". I personally went to bed at 1:30am and Gardner stayed up with her longer. It seemed like she breathed a lot better when she was sitting up and not laying down.

Shantal and Gardner had a date night last night and went to a Concert. At first, Shantal kept saying she didn't want to go. I know, sometimes things sounds so boring. And I guess, this is one of those things she thought was boring. I told her she had to go. We usually know that the kids will have a great time once they actually leave. And this time was just the same as usual. When she came home, at 11 pm (really late for our Shantal), I asked her if she had fun. And of course, the answer was yes. She was so excited about it. Started talking about who she saw there, where they went, the seats at the concert. And of course, she was overly excited about being up really late.

Now, it is Saturday. I guess we are kind of taking it easy this morning. It is World Card Making Day (yes there is such a thing!). I would like to make at least one homemade card today. But we will have to see if I get the chance with Emma not feeling so well. We also will be spending some time at the Church today for some meetings. I need to be there at 3pm and then I will come home and Gardner will go at 6pm.

And then school starts back up on Monday. The kids have been off for 2 weeks for the Fall Holidays that they get every year. It will be hard to be back on a schedule again. But it will also be nice to have some quiet time in the mornings again while they three older ones are at school. Emma and Ian are so much more calm when they are gone and the two play very well together.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Tamara

A fine day at the Dentist

A month and a half ago, Tamara had a horrible day at the dentist with Shantal. Today I had a wonderful day.

Our son Spencer went in to have 2 baby teeth pulled. The reason for pulling the teeth was to help his permanent teeth to grow in with proper alignment. He has too many teeth for his little jaw and the teeth are already a bit out of alignment. He saw an orthodontist (Keiferorthopädin) for the lack of space on Monday and this was her recommendation. We went to the Dentist on Monday to verify that everything was OK after a boy punched Spencer's tooth out at school in early September.

Here is the story of why I am so filled with love and awe for my son today.

On Monday morning, October 1st at the orthodontist Spencer found out that the dentist would have to pull 2 baby teeth (Milchzähne). Pulling the two baby teeth now will hopefully make a bit more room for the permanent teeth (bleibende Zähne) currently growing in and help with the alignment of the teeth generally. Spencer immediately said I want to have grandpa there with me. Grandpa, a dentist, was with us at the appointment on Monday and flying back to the U.S. on Friday, October 5th. So it was a long shot at best. I called the dentist on Monday and they had an appointment on Thursday afternoon at 2:15 p.m. I took it.

Last night my dad and I gave Spencer a priesthood blessing that he would be able to endure the procedure, with no ill effects, that he would be able to heal quickly, and that the Spirit of the Lord would be with the doctor.

Spencer was a bit nervous today, but that's pretty normal. When we got to the dentist he was admirable. The dentist is very good, and his assistant also specializes in children's dentistry. They numbed the gums a bit and then gave Spencer the shot and Spencer didn't flinch. Shantal almost passed out. We waited about 10 minutes and Spencer's face (upper left cheek & lower right chin) was very numb and he talked about a bit funny. Shantal asked if she could go to the waiting room. And, just before the dentist came back in Grandpa said jokingly, if we wait much longer I'm just going to jump over there and pull the teeth myself.

The dentist came back in and started prepping Spencer for the pulling of the teeth. By this point I was nervous, but went over to Spencer to hold his hand (the assistant wasn't in the room yet). Spencer said to me, who asked you to come over and help? I asked, did you want grandpa to come over? Spencer said of course. Grandpa came over to be near Spencer. The assistant came in about this same time.

Spencer was still a bit nervous and resistant about the dentist pulling the teeth and the dentist was talking him into it a bit. Then the dentist had a brilliant idea - why not let grandpa pull the teeth! He pulled out gloves and gave them to my dad. He handing my dad the dental pliers for the bottom tooth and grandpa started pulling. The assistant held Spencer's hands/arms (just in case) and talked with him about what was happening. At this point I couldn't watch too much (I'm a bit like Shantal I guess), but before I knew it (and before Spencer knew it), the first tooth was out. The dentist handed my dad the 2nd dental pliers and he pulled out the top tooth. Spencer felt that one a bit and squirmed, but who wouldn't. And then that tooth was out as well.

Spencer was very happy after the procedure. He had done it. He took the shot, let the dentist (grandpa) pull out the tooth, and didn't even cry.

For me it was a great day - to see Spencer and my dad together with this kind and gentle dentist here in Germany. I was in awe of my son and truly filled with love for him. I also realized that Shantal cares for people so much that she can't stand to see the suffering. Tamara is a bit like that. Hates pain and seeing suffering (even her own), but when called up she endures phenomenal amounts of pain to carry, deliver, and nourish children.

It was a fine day at the dentist.

In an Attempt to Be Positive

In an attempt to remain positive and upbeat regarding our families move to Europe, I forgot that I am at times extremely sad and lonely. I forgot how much I miss my parents, brothers and sisters.

We made the choice to move to Europe and live overseas and wouldn't trade it for the world. It has been one of the choicest years of our lives thus far. We wouldn't trade it for the world. It has also been extremely challenging and difficult. I know that my children have suffered many a lonely night and that my wife has worked miracles to keep us feeling like a "normal" family over the past year. Work has been wonderful for me. But that has also meant long hours and a lot of time away from my wife and children, who needed me and who I needed.

Through it all I have attempted to remain positive and upbeat. Not to get down on "German" culture. I enjoy the culture and rich history and have focused on the positive. I did this for the children, and for our success here as a family.

But that doesn't help the loneliness one feels at times. It doesn't take away the pain of separation. It doesn't make it any easier to hug and kiss your parents goodbye as they leave, knowing you won't see them for another year. It doesn't help you watch your children thrive and prosper with grandma and grandpa visiting and worry whether they will make it after they have gone. It doesn't bring back the close association with siblings. It doesn't move the Atlantic ocean make it possible to drive to mid western United States.

What does this knowledge do for me. It leads me to believe that I need to strike a new balance between positive and human. That I have put super-human energy into remaining positive, and forgot that it is human to be frustrated, lonely, down on life, and still positive about the decision to move overseas to Germany. I need to let myself feel those feelings of loneliness and anxiety and express them to my darling spouse and family. And despite the difficulties remain positive and upbeat about our "new" lives here in Germany.

Naturally, I have no idea how to strike that balance yet, but . . . that's part of the adventure.